Thursday, February 28, 2013

"I Could Never Do That..."

When I tell people I home school our kiddos, a super cape must begin flapping behind me.  I am always told, "Wow, that is so hard. I could never do that." I am never quite sure how to respond because neither can I. I am usually on the brink of tears and frustration abounds in my sinful heart as I crave the "me" time everyone tells me I should have.  Believe me, the line is not short of people telling me to send my kids off to public school so I can have a break.

The problem is, God has called us to home school our children.  Yea, Yea...I DO crave and WANT time alone.  I really do want to go to the grocery store without it being a circus production and come home not utterly exhausted from corralling children.  (My children are well behaved, in my opinion.  But they only last so long before the baby attempts to abandon ship aka. the cart and the temptation to touch is just to much.)  I would really enjoy being able to make plans with girlfriends during the day...but homeschooling make friendships difficult. 

When I start listening to the people who are saying "send them to school" or "look what you are missing out on", then I start to get a little testy.  A little grumpy about the blessing God has given me.  He has given me the opportunity to home school my lovelies.  It doesn't mean I wear a cape.  It means I get through a day by His Grace.  Because, honestly, I don't know how I do it either.  It doesn't mean I possess a quality that some of these other Momma's don't have.  Because I don't have it.  I was (or am?) a trained teacher to a room full of students on roughly the same level, not this crazy all over the page craziness.  I have a climbing baby who is most interested in seeing what he can dump or tear apart or see how high he can climb or what baby proof lock he can break.  I have a preschooler who I am sure knows letters, sounds, and numbers but it isn't the most important thing in her world.  I have a 1st grader who needs a ton of reassurance and every lesson I transform into an actress to teach him. My 2nd grader hates to see anything less than 100% on his papers and is reading a few grades above level. 

God has called us to sacrifice.  And no, I don't have a cape.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Basics

I've been in somewhat of a pit, always striving yet always missing the mark.

This week I got back to the basics.  Back to the priorities, away from my own selfish desires.  And I re-discovered grace that rains down from heaven.  The kind of rain that the sun shines through and the warm spreads through your clothing and you want to spread you arms out wide and take off twirling in the yard. 

I am sure it is no coincidence that this all happens the week after Sam's lengthy basketball season ends.

I often find that I am struggling with the sacrifices that are needed for homeschooling.  I sometimes, ok more than sometimes, find myself jealous of others that can freely go and come during the day.  I try and do that.  It fails and backfires in my face immediately.  I was in this vicious cycle for a few months.  Spending too much time out of the house, away from schooling, coming home and being frustrated that we didn't complete as much school work as I had hoped that week.  Then I would blow up.  Frustration in abundance for all. 

I've spent this week getting back to the priorities.  God has called us to home school these precious babies He has given us, and I need to be content with the call.  I am going to greatly scale back our activities for the rest of the year so we can finish the year strong.  I am going to put me feet on the solid Rock.  I am going to be content with the call that the Lord has given me, for when I am weak He makes me strong.