I've been teaching in Children's Church about praying big prayers, and expecting big answers from God. I want this stuff to be real to our kiddos NOW, in their youth. God hears their prayers just as much as any adult.
Well, it has also challenged me to pray big prayers. Ones that can seem not safe and maybe a little scary. And this morning as I watch God answer a big prayer that left me shaking and trembling wondering that maybe I had out did myself... It caused my mind to start rolling about how I got so terrified to pray these big prayers.
For years I felt boxed, incredibly uncomfortable in the quest of being comfortable. Always feeling like there was something more than a list of rules and checklists (somewhat self imposed) that I had to follow. If I do this, or follow this, or dress like this then maybe I'll fit in. I imagine I felt little bit of what the Israelite's felt under The Law.
I had always felt like I had to set up the parameters for God's box in my life. I could make the rules, keep Him fairly contained so I could live happily. And then I could invite Him in to my box. I could keep it comfortable and controlled. I felt like I was on a hamster wheel. Never succeeding, yet never failing... so I kept on running.
Then something happened. And I knew I had no box for God. God began to tear down the box. The same idea as Peter getting out of the boat and walking on water. If I never got out of my box (or for Peter, the boat) then I would never know all that God has for me. And I want all that He has for me. For the last couple of years God has been gently asking me to let Him lead, even if it makes me uncomfortable. Giving more and more control over to Him. Letting Him set the parameters.
Walking under the umbrella of grace rather than in the law. With God not in a box, but instead gently leading His children. God is big. Oh so big, and His grace covers.
