Friday, March 9, 2012

Here, there, everywhere!

The last 2 months have been a whirlwind. I have many posts that I've written but they are tucked away.  Putting them out there would leave my heart a little to vulnerable.

I have struggled with how open to be with how difficult homeschooling has been.  I don't want the doubters to say, "I told you so." And I don't want to discouraged those who want to get started!  With my teaching background, I had anticipated homeschooling to be blissfully joyous.  It has not been.  My teaching background does very little to help in our homeschooling adventure.  Nearly everything I've learned in college is exempt when not practiced in a classroom.  Homeschooling is very different from teaching in a classroom. Multiple age levels, on top of keeping up with all the house work and having a new baby...crazy.

Would I change it for next year?  Absolutely not.  I enjoy having my children home with me.  I enjoy knowing what they are learning and being able to encourage them along the way.  I enjoy eating lunch together.  Some days I watch out the door for Sam to get home so I can have a little break, a bit of breathing room.

I struggle with balance.  Having the house picked up, making dinner, folding laundry...are all things that I work to get done after school.  With children who are learning to read, school takes a lot of time.  I struggle with how much to go with the flow and how much to strive for a cleaner house or time to run. How hard to fight for this or that? Or do I just let it go?  I love running.  I love getting outside and hearing my sneakers smack the pavement.  I love listening to praise music.  I love the sweet fellowship I have with just me and God that is so rare within the walls of my house.  But I'm seriously struggling with the time I need to do that.  I'm not in a season of life where picking up and going for a run is easy.  Do I let it go? Or fight for it? Or maybe I need to find a different way to find the solitude with the Lord that I so enjoy on my runs?  My life isn't the same as what it was a year ago.  I was a Mommy to three little one, 2 IN school, no diapers or nursing sessions to worry about.  And now, life is so different!  Homeschooling 2, nursing a baby, changing diapers, struggling just to find time to spend with each is it ok to let running go for now?  It isn't so much the exercising, just the act of running.  Soon enough the weather will be nice for bike rides and walks with the stroller.

And as Sam said, last night...I could have a terrible case of cabin fever!  Come on spring!

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