I've had my fair of homeschooling comments that have made me step back. I am becoming increasingly more aware how our choice to home school our children has changed relationships, both for our children and for us. I have felt the strain on friendships that have left my heart hurt. It's no ones fault, it is just life.
And I miss those relationships. I tried to keep both lives in a happy medium. You know, the homeschool mom mixed with the one that hangs out with friends. Sigh. It didn't work. I'm afraid I'm viewed as weird because I make a choice to spend all day every day with my kids. And it appears because of this choice, I have some awesome super power complete an abundance of patience. Do not be afraid, because I lack patience. All the time. Every day. It is hard. Homeschooling is hard. Lack of friendships is hard. Patience is hard to come by. Spending every day correcting behaviors that come from our natural sinful behavior is hard.
I long for fun lunch breaks with friends. Where I can sit and just chat about life without worrying about multiplication with carrying or drilling spelling words...or worse, chasing down that climbing toddler for the 849 time.
So, I am sorry, Friend. For our lacking friendship. For that akwardness that comes when I can't do things during the day because at that moment I am a teacher. For that weirdness that comes just because I don't put my kids on a bus.
I feel the weight heavy on my shoulders of my children's education. This gives me different struggles and I try to find a new way to teach an area where my child is struggling. I don't need to hear, "Are you ready to put them in school yet?" Or, "Maybe it is time that they go to school?" I need support to keep going. I know this journey is hard, but I know that God has called our family to this journey so when I receive comments that are so not supportive of our choice then I back away. Because rather than telling me to send my kids off, I may just need a hug or some words of encouragement.
I have learned much about friendships in recent months. It both saddens me and yet I am extremely grateful for friends that stand by me.