1 Peter 5:6-7
English Standard Version (ESV)
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Yesterday was wild. I have a friend who is experiencing many of the same breathing troubles our T-man experiences. It brings up a lot of emotions from Sam and I when T had his last hospital stay and he was incredibly sick. Maybe incredibly is exaggerating, but Sam and I were incredibly worried during our last hospital visit. More so than any other. He didn't respond to treatment as easily as he had before, and after watching our bounce off the wall child not move from his hospital bed hooked to oxygen as he slowly battled whatever was going on in his lungs for days...incredibly doesn't feel like it does the experience justice. I took dinner to my friend yesterday to see her little guy hooked up to this same machine that T was attached too...the beeping of when it got to low...the staring at it for hours hoping to watch the numbers increase...wondering when the next treatment should come. We are so grateful for the awesome care he received. We praise God for that.
My stomach can't help but get all twisted in concern for my friend as she experiences a similar situation. Just looking back through the pictures that I took of the pulse ox meter and of my sick T-man is enough to make my want to...well...you can get the idea without me spelling it out right? It does things to my stomach just looking at the pictures. I struggle with the last part of this verse, you know...the part that says, "casting all your anxieties on Him..." Anxiety is a part of my life. I struggle so often to cast them off to the Lord but then I find myself right there at the cross picking them back up again. Why do I enjoy the pain of being anxious so much? To not yield to the precious promise the God gave us? And T being sick in the hospital how he was, was an experience totally different, totally radical. But I'm thinking right now of more of the day to day struggles that I CHOOSE to carry. That I CHOOSE to bare instead of casting them off. Why do I do that? Honestly, being so helpless holding my T-man in the hospital I found carrying out this passage much easier than in my day to day life. I was much more willing to cast that anxiety off on Him because I didn't know what else to do. I was, we were, helpless. We needed HIM. But what about every day life? When I can, or when I believe, that I have more control. I need to put this verse into practice in my day to day life, not just when I'm desperate and helpless.
I am thankful that I can cast my anxieties on Him.
I am thankful for men who come together to study God's Word. It is such a privilege to host men's bible study here!
I am thankful for a husband who will spend his day off rotating our vehicles at the mechanics to have work done that he isn't comfortable to do himself.
I am thankful that my kids have been healthy for 6 months!
I am thankful that God's ways are NOT our ways and He chose to bless our lives with another little boy. We can't wait for him to join our family.
2 comments:
I so get the hospital thing. I couldn't believe we ended up there with Annelise in same boat last December. :'( That pulse ox machine, the beeping, the numbers I wish we didn't have to understand... I hate that this has been a part of our lives, but am praising God that He carries us through and that He had shown us mercy with our kids being healthy this long stretch!
I read his journal that I keep and record all of his major events and looked at all his hospital pictures and oh my :( It makes me so sick to my stomach. I had forgot how sick he was the other times also (partially collapsed lung!) Praising God that we have managed his asthma and I haven't taken him to the Drs. in 6 months other than to see the pediatric pulmnologist. I'd be totally ok to never go through any of it again...BUT looking back Sam and I can see God's hand in it all.
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