Sunday, May 6, 2012

The count down is on.

The count down is on.  The fear is rising.  Doubt threatens to punch me in the gut.

"You can't do it."

"You are going to fail."

I might.  Will I?  Can I?  Fail.  These thoughts torment me as they bounce around in my head.  My own self doubt.

Then I realize that all these thoughts are false.


I serve a Lord who is so much bigger than thoughts of self doubt that hang out in my mind looking for any weak moment to jump on the band wagon to cheer me down a spiraling slide of "I can' do this".

I choose to stop.  I choose to realize the false of my self doubt.

Standing in the promises of the King.  Trusting that He will equip me with the skills I need to fulfill the plan he has laid out me (Romans 8:28).

Every time I say I can' speaks against what God can and what He will do.

It isn't about me.  This journey isn't about me.  It is about Christ.  I am just the vessel for His work.


Sues said...

AMEN!!!!! Agreeing with you before God!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi April,
I actually was just surfing the internet tonight with a huge blizzard outside daunted by the amount of work this weekend to hopefully be ready to start work on Monday. I came across this old post of yours and the words seemed to jump off the page. I will be starting with internal medicine which is a gong show at this hospital and the doubts you were describing have been overwhelming me for weeks but especially tonight. I know they are not from God but just to see another person struggling with them and the use of the verse really helped to put it into focus how strong our God really is. The reminder is needed since he certainly has handed so much to me in the last 3 yrs with a major car accident, a very large tumour although benign and having faced a hysterectomy, the ardours of medicine and the lack of a partner. It was a big help to see that our God is in control!

April said...

OH sweet Aimee!!! Your last three years have been a wild roller coaster. I am totally confident that all that you have endured will make you an awesome doctor! Take all that you have been through and use it for God's glory! You are going to rock internal medicine! You will! How do I know? Because God has prepared you! Trust Him.

I am committing to pray for you. (I don't take this commitment lightly.) I will pray that God will be HUGE in your life!